Tuesday, May 30, 2017

Could I Edit Myself Out of My Church?

My church is creating material for small groups to complement a message series. Members of the ministry staff, participants in our writers group, and others have been invited to submit supplemental devotionals. Another freelance editor and I were asked to edit them.

I’m in the middle of working on more than a dozen pieces written by people I barely know (it’s a big church), staff I’ve never personally met (it’s a big church), and coordinating with another freelance editor I didn’t even know was a freelance editor (it’s a big church). Unlike when I edit professionally for publishing houses, I’m not "in Kansas anymore.”

“We might have to change churches,” I said to my husband, who serves in hospital visitation.

“And why is that?” he asked.

“Because most writers don’t like to be edited. What am I doing?”

He thinks I was kidding, and he’s right. But my slight worry behind the joke is real. As a pastor’s daughter and later a pastor’s wife, I sometimes found myself in the center of or at least around the edges of church controversy, church snubs, church division…Must I go on? For years now, I’ve avoided being anywhere near the potential for church messes. They aren't pretty and they can hurt. I clearly remember sitting in a church office, crying my eyes out after someone scolded me in front of a roomful of church people. I had offended the other person without realizing it, and I was miserable,  hurt, and embarrassed.

So why did I put myself here where I could hurt someone’s feelings in this church by agreeing to edit these devotionals? It’s not that I’m not comfortable with my skill set, or that I’m not diligent about assuring authors their work is theirs, not mine. Other than for rules of grammar, spelling, and agreed-upon style, any changes I suggest are subject to their review and approval. I make this clear for every  author I edit, serving them on a professional basis. But this was serving community.

In addition to having some fear of hurt feelings, I’m one of those introverted beings who find it difficult to determine how to serve in the church without thrashing about like a fish out of water. That is, unless God paints a big green arrow, which he’s metaphorically done for me more than once. And I thank him for it. When it came to service within the church in the past, I often served in ways that filled a need, especially in the areas that affected my own children, but that didn’t put me even remotely in an area of gifting, lit in the green glow of his will. So I learned to wait for that green arrow. (That he has not seemed to prompt me to visibly serve in the church much in recent years would take another post to explore.)

When the writers group began meeting in the new year, one of God’s green arrows not only appeared, but, I think, glowed. One of the leaders specifically invited me to join, which works well with introverted people, and I mustered the courage to do it. After all, I am a writer, and I like to work with writers.

You’ll be asked to edit at some point, God said. I gulped. Uh, okay. But I didn't know it would be so soon.

I'm introverted, yes. But I’d like to get to know all these writers better. I’d like to encourage them in their gift. I might like to be in a small group with one or more of them and “do life together.” That means this service as editor is a risk; I could mess up, offend someone without meaning to. Oust myself. I’ve written about how editors must be “fair, balanced, and unafraid,” but this is working “fair, balanced, and a little afraid.” Yet I know taking a risk when following God's arrows can lead to doors of opportunity, ready to open.

I shared what I’d said to my husband with the leader who invited me to the writers group, and we both laughed. But then she said in all sincerity that she’s prayed for God to be at the center of it all. I’m so glad she has, and so have I.

In the meantime, I’m trying to see all the green arrows God has for me, especially any beginning to glow. I'll just have to not edit myself out of my church.

Is God painting green arrows for you?

Wednesday, April 19, 2017

A Short Reflection on the Horrors of Pre-Vacation Shopping


The other day I went shopping to update my wardrobe for the next couple of seasons, a semi-annual task I detest. Yet I must undergo this torment because spring and fall are when we take vacations, and I never seem to have everything I need. Let’s just say I’m hard on clothes. Stains even Oxiclean won’t remove? Uh, yeah. The wear and tear of too many years on staple items (read T-shirts)? You see my dilemma.

One of the main reasons for this hatred, at least for me, is that the stores are too hot in the spring because they have yet to turn on air-conditioning and in the fall because they’ve turned it off too soon. And yet I suffer through this ordeal because I hate shopping for clothes online even more. Plus, I never leave enough time to order online, receive the package, reject what I ordered, return it, and still suffer in stores to get the job done. Why not skip to the inevitable?

“Are you hot, ma’am?” one checkout person asked me as one more drop of sweat fell from my forehead onto the credit card in my hand. Her question seemed an unnecessary delay to me, interrupting my anticipation of the breeze I knew awaited me outside, already an estimated four to seven minutes away. I could see the front door from my position in line, and my entire body was already in “as fast as I can walk out of here” mode.

“Yes,” I answered, not inclined to elaborate but to simply prove I was coherent. Maybe—my having already dabbed away all the makeup I’d come in with—she thought I was having a stroke. No, I was only melting. But let me just say, I left with everything I needed, because I was not about to go back lest my need for a vacation increase tenfold.

Except I still needed a new purse. Or two. And that meant I had to go back a couple of days later.

I also hate shopping for purses, but for an entirely different reason. First, some stores display their purse selections by brand, so in each section I begin by finding the purses with my requirements: medium size, an adjustable strap, the right compartments and fasteners, not too expensive (because I’m cheap with purses), and a texture that speaks to me, which isn’t patent leather or cloth. The hard part is choosing color and pattern.

Especially in the spring, a reasonable woman would want a purse that’s bright and cheery, even if it doesn’t go with everything she owns, right? I try. I really do. Once I bought a fuchsia purse and even bragged about it on Facebook, I think. But the best I can do, after a long, long and hot, hot time trying to force myself to make an interesting choice, is a sort of beige and a definite black. The melon purse is pretty, the floral bag is nice, that blue one would go with the sandals I hardly ever wear. But I am at heart a “goes with everything” woman and I don't seem to be able to change. I have to try to be interesting in other ways, I guess.

Thank goodness I don’t need to go flip-flop shopping. You see, first I'd have to…and it would be hot…

photo credits: http://www.publicdomainpictures.net/view-image.php?image=203392&picture=colorful-handbags-for-sale  
http://www.publicdomainpictures.net/view-image.php?image=34481&picture=flip-flops

Wednesday, March 29, 2017

What Happened When This Freelance Editor Had a Break (Down?)


Sometimes it happens—I have a workday or time slot with no work. Like now. It’s almost 3:00 p.m., one editing project is off with the author for her review, and a new project I’d expected by today isn’t coming now until end of day tomorrow. Unless one of my clients who sends “piece work” for me to edit suddenly pushes “send” my way, I am faced with choices. Besides flexibility, this is one of the best parts of being a freelancer, right? 
Maybe.
For productive, business time, my choices include:

Updating my website
Reaching out to a potential client
Deleting and organizing the zillion emails I can’t even believe I've saved

For productive, personal time, my choices include:

                Shopping (which I mostly hate)
                Trying on my spring/summer clothes (which I really hate)
                Exercising (but isn’t it too late in the day now? isn’t it still kind of rainy outside?)

For not-so-productive time, my choices include:

                Catching up on what’s on the DVR I like but my husband doesn’t
                Catching up on social media because I've only looked at it, like, twice today
                Catching up on reading (except reading is productive, but, hey, I sort of read for a living)

Please remember at this point that I do not cook, knit, garden, or partake in hardly any hobby-ish activities. Nor do I go out of the house much—say to visit someone—without planning for it, because when I work I’m usually dressed for home, not for public view. I know. Sad. Today it’s sweat pants (I still don’t really know what yoga pants are), a sweatshirt, and—wait for it—cozy, white socks. (See item regarding spring clothes above. I am never ready when seasons change.) Makeup? Not a chance.

Or I can write. That’s a good idea. After all, I will soon owe a blog post here, and blog post there…

Wait! Have I had my afternoon coffee? Oh, yeah. It’s right here. But it’s kind of cold. Aha! I’ll venture out to the kitchen and warm it up.

***

Okay, I’m back. Here’s an email! But it only confirms my no-work-right-now situation. Maybe it’s time to confess that I have a to-do list. It’s right here next to my coffee. Yes, it’s on paper, because somehow lists, alerts, and what have you on my computer are overlooked. Or maybe avoided.

Now it’s 3:12, 3:13, 3:14. I’m thinking. Feeling kind of guilty about that to-do list. Maybe I can do one thing on it. Ah. Decide what to buy my granddaughter for her seventh birthday, which means shopping of some kind. Her mother sent options. I like options.

Here it is. Accessories for her bearded dragon, Trixie. Maybe I can find some on Amazon. Yep, I can. Oh my, they make hammocks and chaise lounges for them? The trouble is I haven’t seen Trixie and her abode yet. Now I have to ask my daughter-in-law if Trixie already has means for relaxation. I’ll text her later. She’s probably busy, because, you know, she has kids and a job…and a dragon in her home.

What else is on my list? Go for a routine blood draw. But that has to be after an eight-hour fast. Oh, yeah. I’m going to do that tomorrow morning.

Now I’m hungry, but I WILL NOT GO FOR THE M&Ms. I won't, I won't. They'll show up on my blood test results. I just know it!

It’s 3:24. Someone please send me some work! Apparently I’ve lost all ability to manage free time on short notice.


photo credit: http://www.publicdomainpictures.net/view-image.php?image=15818&picture=old-clock-in-sepia

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